Run In Peace, Nala. :,-(

A little more than a month after receiving the news that Aerosmith passed away, and exactly a month after my thirtieth birthday, I was called yesterday about Nala.  "If you want to see her, you should come now..."  I hate those words.

I don't think I'm ready to truly accept it yet, and I think I'll be avoiding my parents' house for quite sometime as I sit here and hate myself for going down a path that didn't allow me to keep her with me.  Yeah, I know, it wouldn't have changed anything ... but maybe.  Who knows?

I keep reminding myself of the time that she was lost.  She slipped out of her collar, ran toward a street just as a Mack truck was coming, spun away from the tires just in the nick of time, crossed over a highway, clearing the cement divider on her way, and was gone for twenty days.  I drove around, posted signs, all of that typical stuff.  On the day that it happened, I actually told my nephew, "Well, if you see Nala in the yard of your school, you have my full permission to get up, leave class, and run out to get her."  Twenty days later, a friend went with me into the small wooded area behind that school and we found my precious baby.  It's a wonder she didn't play with the kids when they were outside.  I never thought about that.  Weird.  

She lost some weight during her adventure and completely tore her ACL.  She underwent surgery to repair her knee and, while the vet said she had to take it slow, she was running again before I knew it.  The veterinarian also informed us that arthritis was in her future no matter what, even if she hadn't torn her ACL. I have pictures of her shaved leg and the stitched incision, but I'm not brave enough to go through too many pictures tonight.  (Found some on the computer; I didn't think I'd scanned them.)

When she was lost, I thought that I would never her again.  I spent twenty days crying off and on, saying that I missed my baby and I really, truly believed that that was it.  

Tonight, I just keep reminding myself to be grateful for the time since then, for the miracle of finding her and being able to have ten more years with her ... but it hurts because, this time, she really is gone forever.  

  
I'm comforting myself with the belief that, now, she can run again and play with all the fervor that her body could no long muster.  I love you, Nala, always.  Run in peace, my pretty, pretty princess. 

♥,
Stephanie Grace 

*Being the horrible person that I am, I didn't even realize that it's only been nine years since her little excursion.  I really thought that it happened in 2004 because I didn't think I'd known Hubbs for very long when it happened.  I really need to get a better memory.  I still feel fortunate for the time, but now I feel like I was shorted a year that I should have had with her.